Boobs From God: Salma Hayek’s Miraculous Mammaries

hayekThis may be a bit lowbrow, but I can’t resist. Here’s a bit of good news for all you ladies considering plastic surgery: save your cash and go to church! It worked for Salma Hayek. As a teenager, Hayek prayed for bigger boobs:

“My mom and I stopped at a church during a road trip we were making from our home in Mexico. When we went inside, I prayed for the miracle I wanted to happen. I put my hands in holy water and said: ‘Please God, give me some breasts.’ And he gave me them! Within a few months, I developed a growing spurt, as teenagers do, and I was very pleased with the way I grew outwards.”

There ya go: God exists because of Salma Hayek’s boobs! Not only is this a miracle of the highest, C. S. Lewisian order, it’s also a fulfillment of Jeremiah 31:14: “and my people will be filled with my bounty.” Certainly cleavage is a more compelling argument than, say, the ontological argument. But unfortunately, even Salma Hayek’s boobs aren’t enough to convince me of the existence of God. However, if I were to inspect them, my mind might change. God, make it happen.

Photo: Anthony G Moore, exposay.com

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Blogical

I’m starting this blog as an outlet for my thoughts on religion, it successes, shortfalls, and how I get along without it. As an atheist and secularist, I often get accused of only believing in “cold logic”, to which I respond, “What’s so cold about it?" Just because I think critically where where religious people don’t doesn’t make me cold, immoral or unfeeling. I’m not anti-religious per se, though I feel some religious practices do get a free ride where they shouldn’t. The main reason I’m an atheist is that I think a life lived on secular priciples is a better way to live. In reading this, you’ll probably see plenty of ideas you’ve heard before, and hopefully a few you haven’t. With any luck, you’ll understand where I’m coming from, and we’ll both be better off.
The Out Campaign: Scarlet Letter of Atheism
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